Surviving being a woman in Nigeria episode 4.
Hey community members, how are you doing?
How have you been?
I hope your week was filled with so much love , peace and the right amount of laughter.
If this is your first time here, hey! Welcome to the community .
We love you .
I want you to know that you can always come as you are, and you! can rest here.
Away from the hassle and bustle of life , here is HOME.
On today’s episode of surviving being a woman in Nigeria, let’s talk flat tummy .
As usual, I hope you have your cup of cold drink? I’ve been leaning toward orange juice of recent .
Do you enjoy orange juice?
Don’t forget to snug your duvet, we are about to talk about something a little uncomfortable, involving body image which is very sensitive to a lot of people.
So community members, here goes something.
Staring at the mirror, and seeing that round protrusion of your belly peeking through that outfit you have so beautifully put together in your head , can leave anyone feeling like the world is crumbling at their feet. To the extent that even the thought of a random credit alert would pale in comparison. Especially when it happens repeatedly on a Monday morning or that first date with the guy you really like.
If this has ever been you , come get a hug baby girl.
As someone who grew up skinny, a flat tummy was something that interestingly came with the package. I had a very nice and trim waist . I remember my sister always trying to measure who had the trimmer waist with a plastic yellow measuring tape that has lost almost a cm at the tip. With tears on different sides of its inaccurate length- testaments of its generational existence.
I remember frowning when we would discover that she was an inch or two slimmer. Honestly, I didn’t mind because at the end of the day, having a flat tummy was all that matters. As long as I had a flat tummy, all was well with the world.
This writer was around 20 years of age when she first noticed the fluctuation in her beautiful flat tummy.
I was growing you see. My boobs were getting fuller, my backside rounder and more protruded (I would have loved to use the word booty instead of backside, but then I thought it sounds rather uncivilized. And i don’t want to seem uncivilized, or do i? ). I did enjoy those changes. However, they came with a price! if you haven’t guessed it at this point , yes! It was my flat tummy.
It would to get bigger .
A lot of people would still consider it flat, but I knew what was and found it really hard to accept was is.
I wasn’t used to this new body that was now mine. Nobody asked my for my permission before exchanging my body.
I was very used to people complimenting me on how flat my tummy was, that I was scared they would find out it wasn’t as flat as it was , and they would start to judge me deeming me less of who I am. Until I discovered something that blew my mind.
The understanding that either with a flat tummy or not, I’m enough. That if I don’t first accept myself, flaws and all, how would I expect others to accept me?
Understanding that my body has grown, and I wouldn’t always have the body that I did when I was a teenager and that is okay.
Understanding that even if I want to get a flat tummy back, it shouldn’t be from a place of self-hate, but from a place of love. Wanting to be better not because I think this version of me is less or a lower quality but because I know I deserve to be the best version of myself.
I’ve had a lot of ladies around me complain about their belly fat. I’ve had friends take a lot of harmful things just because they are trying to lose the belly fat. Putting on very tight tummy belt that leaves them fainting due to shortness of breath.
I don’t blame anyone, because I know how hard the society can be when it seems like you are going out the standards it sets for what is deemed as beauty .However, you have to realize that you have one life to life, and you can’t keep hating the body you are in . your body is the container of your soul, and you have only two choices. There are no middle grounds- you either hate your body till the day you die, or you choose to love it regardless of if it meets your expectation or not.
When you learn self-love, you can now from the place of love start working on getting a trimmer waist in a healthy way.(if you still want to do that by then) But remember you are perfect just the way you are.
Working to be a better version of yourself is an act of self-love.
One of the greatest self-love tip I always recommend to anyone starting their self-love journey but don’t know where to start, is to find women who look like you and are in love with themselves, and just watch. That’s all you need to do. Sooner or later you would begin to experience life through their eyes.
Because truthfully , at the end , self-love is all that matters.
SBWIN QUIZ
• Are you comfortable with your current body?
• Did you have issues with your body image as you grew older, or you were happy to embrace change.
SBWIN GO HARD OR GO HOME
• Find at least one woman that looks like you and love herself on social media and follow her .
Random fact (for community members only)- I recently started learning how to sew! i made my first straight stitch using a sewing machine yesterday ,and i’m so excited . Cheers to the little beginnings .
Please remember to clap for this post , as it helps it reach more audience.
You can clap as much as possible it doesn’t bite.
Do well to share to others you know would love this post, and encourage them to join this community.
Till the next time.
Love and light.
African writer .
Body insecurities.
Toxic beauty standards .
